If you’ve recently lost a loved one, it might seem like you haven’t been able to think straight since. You might be losing important items, forgetting people’s names, overlooking important commitments on your calendar, or having a hard time making even simple decisions. Perhaps concentrating at work or in school feels like an impossible task. At times, your memory lapses might be so frustrating that you’ve wondered if you may have a neurological problem.
In reality, grief is deeply destabilizing, and it can have a profound effect on your memory, cognition, and executive functioning skills. Here’s how grief can influence the way you think in the wake of a loss.
Struggles With Short-Term Memory
Someone just told you their name, and now it’s slipped your mind. You thought you were supposed to have a meeting today, but when you check your calendar, you realize that it was actually yesterday, and you forgot. You have to buy a gift for your cousin’s upcoming wedding, yet even though you keep putting it on your to-do list, you never get around to it.
If these issues sound familiar, rest assured that it’s a normal reaction to loss. Grief can lead to struggles with short-term memory. Forgetting things frequently is quite frustrating, and it can cause inconveniences in your daily life.
Difficulty Concentrating
Your mind wanders when you’re talking to your manager. If you’re in school, you might feel like keeping your attention on your professor simply requires too much energy. Finishing an entire book seems insurmountable. Even when you’re chatting with a friend, you quickly lose track of the conversation.
When you’re grieving, it’s not easy to focus on anything, even activities that interest you. Your attention turns back to your loss, and you might feel as though you’re living in a fog. Many people describe this feeling as “brain fog.”
Trouble Making Decisions
Why do therapists often advise waiting anywhere from six months to a year after a major loss to make any important life decisions? Mental health professionals generally make this recommendation because grief can interfere with decision-making. You might find yourself wanting to make impulsive, dramatic choices that would drastically shake up your life, like ending a long-term relationship, quitting your long-term job, or moving to another country. Simultaneously, making minor decisions about what to eat for dinner, or how you’ll spend your weekend, can feel endlessly complicated.
Misplacing Items
When you get dressed in the morning, you always seem to be missing one of your shoes. You rarely leave your phone on silent anymore, because you’re constantly misplacing it. Perhaps you’ve lost important files at work, spent hours searching through your home for your car keys, or even forgotten about an item a friend lent to you that you need to return.
Grief can make it tough to keep track of your belongings. Setting up an organizational system, or using tools like GPS tags, can make it easier to figure out where you put things.
Feeling Preoccupied With The Loss
Why is it so hard to think clearly when you’re grieving? Your brain is preoccupied with your loss. Part of you is constantly thinking about your loved one, and your mind turns to them at every moment. Another part of you is always trying to distract your conscious mind from the reality of the loss. As a result, your thoughts feel muddled. It’s hard to stay in the present, but it’s painful to reflect on the past.
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If you find that grief is affecting your memory and cognition, we’re here to help. Contact our practice to learn more about our grief counseling services.
